


Eternal

by Shianhygge



Series: Amor Sempiternus Duology [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Depression, F/M, Happy Ending?, Lime, M/M, Reincarnation, Romance, Shameless Indulgence, Starscourge, learning to love again, x Reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 15:39:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13321290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shianhygge/pseuds/Shianhygge
Summary: The Sequel to my first Ardyn story, Ephemeral.Where Ardyn gets to be with his lover happily.





	Eternal

754 M.E. Galdin Quay (2 years before the events of Kingsglaive)

 

In your dreams you see the man with the amber eyes. In your dreams, he comes and he goes, always offering sweet words and guilty apologizes.

 

_ Come with me…  Come travel with me…   _

 

You see the outstretched hand in front of you, worn and rough, yet welcoming. When you look up, there is that hopeful grin and earnest eyes, red-violet hair shifting at his tilted head. You feel the warmth of a fire near you, and it illuminated the man’s beauty. Casting shadows along his beautifully sculpted face.

 

_ Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.  _

 

You can feel him, pressed up against your back, a wetness on your exposed shoulders, and his lips at the nape of your neck. His arms… you see them lightly wrapped around your waist. And you shiver from the continued attention the man gives you. You think to yourself…  **I love him.**

 

_ I love you. With every single fiber of my being, I love you. _

 

You can hear the sounds of water gently falling outside as you stare up at the man. You feel the silky sheets beneath your naked body and the heat radiating from the handsome man above you. There is a need growing within your core, and there is desire and love radiating from him as well.

 

_ You know that I love you, right, Y/N? For all of eternity I will love you. _

 

In these dreams, he speaks your name. Always, there is love whenever he speaks to you. He never speaks to you with a harsh tone, never raises a hand, rarely ever yells. And his voice, ever so soothing, mellifluous, a honeyed tenor, caresses you. And it’s a willing seduction when he tells you that he loves you. Cheerful and always honest. 

 

When you were younger, you allowed this fantasy, this dreamscape to pull you into its seductive embrace. But as you grew older, you had to scold yourself. That wasn’t you. Right? It was a mere product of your imagination created in that haze of loneliness whenever you realized, with jealousy, that everyone around you had fallen in love and were living their lives to the fullest. Yet here you were, nearly twenty eight years old, trapped in this god forsaken seaside room because of whatever stigma that had been plaguing the populace. It started off as simply fatigue, slowly evolving into waves of pain that hit your body in the most unsuspecting of times. Before you knew it, you could barely move from the waist down, and you started having disturbingly dark thoughts.

 

After all your thoughts concerning those foreign memories, as you’d started to regard them as, they were what kept your mind clear from the darkness, even as all around you, the darkness firmly gripped the minds of other normal people. These people, who you met during your time in various hospitals, when the darkness consumed them, always seemed normal, checking out of the hospital… only to disappear, pronounced deceased mere weeks later.

 

You’d given up on treatments a long while ago, content to spend the last of your days in a room at the Galdin Quay, silently fighting the disease with the memories that were yours yet not, and sketching them into various pages that littered the room’s table. Your heart had told you to leave the hospitals. Had told you to stay in the expensive port town. For what, you didn’t know. But you would wait, so long as that man in your dreams kept the darkness from clouding your mind.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Ardyn Lucis Caelum. 

 

It had been so long since the man had gone by that name. So long since he’d heard his true name pass through another’s lips save for his dreams.

 

In his dreams, the red-violet haired man relived those events of 2000 years ago. He saw that person’s smile, heard their kind words, felt their body on his.

 

_ We won’t see each other again, Healer. _

 

In his dreams, he can see that person’s eyes filled with regret, inner desires hidden, but he could see them still. That desire to hold onto him. To stay near him. “Healer.” Yes. That was what he was known as, once upon a time. Though it seemed like a fairy tale now. And though the person had said that they would never see him again, they did. He had made sure of it.

 

_ Ardyn, I need to speak with you. _

 

In his dreams, he remembered how he left that person. How they had pled with him to speak. And how he had left them. Forsaken them because he was too much of a coward to tell them. He could imagine that person, their arm outstretched towards him as he shut the door.

 

_ Goodbye, Ardyn. I hope you live happily _

 

And he relived the time that he had almost lost that person. His cowardice, and his ignorance had driven them away. How he had begged them to stay. How he had proclaimed his love. That journal entry. A goodbye that he could not accept. His arms around that person, his face buried, pressing tearful kisses on the nape of their neck. A promise to never let them go again.

 

_ With this vow, I promise to love you. As you were, as you are, and as what you’ll become. _

 

The promise that person made as they became one. The only light being the moon and the glowing runes surrounding them. Wet bodies overlapping and meeting in rhythms, like the waves on the beach behind them.

 

_ For all of eternity, I’ll love you, Ardyn. _

 

And their last words before their eyes closed forever. His screams as he awakens from the nightmare, only to realize that it had been reality.

 

He had grown accustomed to the world as it molded before him in the 2000 years of his cursed life. The luxury that the people couldn’t afford a millennia ago, he had embraced. But there were some remnants of the past that he held fast to.

 

Ardyn gently brushed the tips of his fingers on his lips, a silent reverie as he thought back to that person. That person’s name was forever lost to the world, erased by the ones that wronged him and his beloved. But standing at the exact same place where he had consummated their marriage 2000 years ago, Ardyn still remembered that person’s name. Like a song forever stuck in his head.

 

_ Y/N. My beloved. _

 

“What I wouldn’t do to hold you in my arms again.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The paper was coarse under your fingers as you roughly scratched at the surface with your pencil. Outside your room, the ocean waves crashed against the sand, and the setting sun poured light into your room, illuminating the sketch with a fine lighting that almost brought the man from your dreams to life.

 

Somnus.

 

You’d taken to referring to the man in your dreams as such due to the absence of his name within the land of dreams. Somnus meant sleep, after all, and as he only existed in your dreams, it seemed fitting to name him so. It’s funny, to have a clear image of one man forever repeating in your mind, but no actual name.

 

“In my dreams you haunt me, Somnus.” you muttered, setting the pencil down to lightly trace the contours of his face with your fingers, careful not to smudge the delicate lines. “And when I am awake, you haunt me still. But you keep me safe, don’t you?”

 

A wave crashed in a particularly violent manner outside the room, drawing your attention from the sheet of paper clutched in your hand. What you saw left you speechless and frozen, wondering if you were dreaming as the sketch fell from your hands, fluttering to the wooden floors as you struggled to stand. One staggering step after another, you left the wheelchair to press your hand against the ceiling high windows. You didn’t notice the noise you made when your legs gave away, sending your weakening body crashing to the floor. All of your focus was on the figure standing across the water, staring out at the ocean, the setting sun lighting his face just as the sketch did moments before.

 

Behind you, one of the attendants burst into your room, panicked and asking if you were harmed. But you ignored the worried man, face pressed against the glass separating you from the lone figure.

 

“I know you.” you gasped unevenly, your voice wavering as you stared. When the man turned his gaze from the ocean to walk away, black robes and fedora topped red violet hair swishing behind, you cried out, “No. Don’t leave!” But he couldn’t hear you. Your eyes widened as Somnus continued to walk away, and you found yourself struggling to your feet, body moving on it’s own. And with a burst of energy, you were running. Out of the room and through the restaurant, the employees staring after you in shock. It had been over a year since you were able to stand, much less sprint as you did. Something within you, something old, seemed to possess your body as you ran down the wooden bridge.

 

_ Don’t leave me again. Please don’t walk away and abandon me. _ You found yourself thinking with desperation.

 

You saw him get into an old vehicle, pinkish maroon in color with a white racing stripe, and panic fueled you on, “... stop…” you croaked out, out of breath, but still running. The engine started, and you grit your teeth, yelling, “STOP! ARDYN!”

 

Your cries went unheard. You were too far from the man, having only gotten about halfway down the wooden bridge by the time the man had turned on the engine of his car. And by the time you had yelled, he’d already pulled out of the parking space and driven away.

 

_ Ardyn. _

 

That was his name, you realized, as you fell to your hands with a strangled sob, watching the car drive up the hill and out of view. And then, fear.  **How did I know his name?**

 

_ He left me again. _

 

A pain pierced your skull and the throbbing in your chest, which you didn’t realize had been there, increased tenfold as the worried attendants at Galdin Quay surrounded your prone form.

 

_ Why? _ A distorted voice rang in your head, echoing as if someone hit a cymbal next to it.  _ Why does he keep leaving me?  _

 

A flash in your mind, and you were suddenly watching as the man, Ardyn, was walking out the door of what seemed like an ancient Altissian home. But it wasn’t like the dreams, where you were an active participant of the events. No. This time was much different. You were the observer, watching the scene unfold as if in a movie. You saw yourself, or someone bearing your resemblance, reaching out towards Ardyn as he shut the door to the home. It was painful, even as an observer, to watch your doppelganger reach out a hand towards the closing door and whisper… 

 

“Don’t leave.” you muttered at the same time as your doppelganger whimpered into the empty room, tears falling down their cheek as they bowed their head, shoulders hunched over. It looked as if your copy was about to collapse in on themselves as they struggled to keep from openly sobbing. 

 

“Did he forget?” the figure wondered in a broken voice, now openly sobbing their heart out. “Amicus Amor.”

 

_ Amicus Amor _ … you thought with a tilt of your head at the peculiar holiday. You’d read about it. An ancient Lucian holiday that ended a thousand years prior in favor of adopting the same calendar as Altissia, Tenebrae, and Gralea, as its replacement. But what did this mean? How were you living the events of something that you didn’t live through? Who was the person who looked like you? Why were you reliving their memories?

 

And then, with a violent pull of your consciousness you were made to bear witness to something you should have never been able to dream about.

 

The end of their story.

 

For you now stood atop a wooden platform, behind a man with a whip, watching with abject horror as a crowd gathered below to bear witness to the spectacle. Your copy and Ardyn, chained by the wrists opposite one another, both being stripped of clothing before the jeers and cries of the crowd. To your right, you heard a man cry out for the death of the Scourge-bringer and his whore. You couldn’t move as you watched the whipping, the branding of your copy as they took a hot iron and pressed it to your copy’s shoulder. Ardyn’s screams and tears as he was forced to watch the torture. And when they pulled the iron away, your eyes fixated on the mark, instantly recognizing it. You’d know that mark anywhere, for you bore the same mark on your own shoulder, in the exact same place. And you had to tear your eyes away as the men surrounding your copy started to discard their own clothing and you came to the terrifying realization.

 

**You were me.**

 

You allowed your own tears to fall when your sight locked onto Ardyn’s tears as he struggled against his captors, shouting your name in fury and horror.

 

That scene was the last thing you were allowed to witness as you felt your being get pulled back. And just as suddenly, you were back in Galdin Quay, sobbing against the wooden floor of the long bridge.

 

You didn’t struggle as you were carried by the resort’s attendants back into your room. You didn’t remember it all, but you’d witnessed the end to your story two thousand years ago. A past life that had been happy despite it all, and that had ended in tragedy because of betrayal. And now, as the reincarnation of someone who perished two millennia ago, you were dying again. This time, ironically, slowly succumbing to the ailment that your beloved had traveled to heal all those years ago.

 

And you half laughed and half sobbed at the cruelty of the Astrals.

 

“Why?” You questioned, bringing a hand up to cover your eyes, “Why would you bother giving me life again? Why would you let me see him in this miserable life? Only to have me know that I’ll be taken from him again? Were you not cruel enough the first time?” With all of your being, you wanted to be held by him again, so see him stare at you lovingly again. “I won’t play your stupid games.” you grit your teeth, uncovering your eyes to glare out the window. “I can’t put him through that pain again. He doesn’t have to know me in his new life.”

 

You found a firm resolve as you decided that you wouldn’t look for him. That you wouldn’t be a part of his life again.

 

“I just want him to be happy.”

 

Of course, the Gods rarely ever listened to the pleas of mortals.

 

Gods… Goddesses… all fickle things. Controlling. Demanding. Manipulating. Childish. You should have known better that the Astrals would do everything in their power to  **not** grant your wish. Though it didn’t matter, you found out only a mere three days later, when you were asked by Dino to give him the privilege of escorting you to the ancient rune site only for him to leave you with an apology when he was called away to discuss his growing hobby.

 

It had been a peaceful few days, reasonable, you thought, what with the recent warm weather and lack of rain. You’d been enjoying the nice weather, not uncharacteristic of south Leide, although your mind and heart were in turmoil. You had become a host to the Starscourge, a plague on the human race that could only be healed by the Healer blessed by the Astrals. The Oracle. For a brief moment after your realization, you had hope to be cured, but upon looking at the current politics of Eos, it didn’t look like the Oracle Lunafreya would be leaving the continent across the ocean any time soon.

 

“And so I slowly rot,” you chuckled bitterly, gazing out at the seemingly never ending ocean. “I’m not sure if I should be happy that you’re keeping me safe, Ardyn.” You closed your eyes and leaned back into your wheelchair, basking in the golden rays as you took in a deep breath of the salty air. The Starscourge had progressed significantly the passing few days, now appearing as various bruising and black splotches on the body. You’d been forced to wear a white cloth over you when out of your room. “Or if I should resent you for prolonging my suffering.” You laugh at the absurdity, “Oh who am I kidding, the current you won’t remember little old me.” a melancholic gleam glinted in the depths of your eyes, “We both died that day. I’m not the same Y/N as back then, and you’re not the same Ardyn. We look the same, but we are not as we were two millennia ago. This obsession of mine is going too far.”

 

It is when you turn your wheelchair to wheel away that you see him approach, sauntering as he did all those many years ago, and looking almost as he did the day the two of you died. His strong jaw, which had been home to a fine beard, was now shaven down with only a bit of stubble left to decorate his handsome face. His eyes were still the amazing amber that you remembered, bright and cheerfully mischievous, but now, you could see a darkness that your Ardyn never held. And you wonder, almost offhandedly, of the suffering a person had to endure to adopt such darkness. A darkness, you ruminate, that lurked within your own gaze. Snapping your attention, rather forcefully, back into focus, you immediately turned your head away from the approaching man, hoping that he didn’t see your face as you wheeled past him and onto the sand.

 

You kept your head down and your hand over the wheelchair controls. You didn’t want to look at him, and you didn’t want him to look at you. Waves crashed onto the sand only several meters away and the sound of your wheels running over stone and sand seemed to thunder in your ears, but still you could hear the light humming of the man passing you. Two meters away, then one, and suddenly the two of you were passing side by side, and while your breathing stalled, your wheels did not. Ardyn still continued on humming and sauntering along. One meter, two meters, three… the distance grew again and with it, the ache in your chest.

 

Part of you had hoped that Ardyn would notice you. If not as you use to be, but as an interesting stranger in passing conversation. But another part of you, the one born within this millennia, reasoned that of course Ardyn would not notice you. After all, a large white sheet separated the two of you. Lost in your thoughts, you still somehow managed to return to Dino’s side, tugging on the side of his dress shirt to drag his attention from his phone. And as the good friend he is, the platinum haired man would smile gently and hang up his phone, assisting you back to your sick room.

 

From your sickbed you watched him, feeling like an absolute creep, but finding that it was easier to hold back when you kept your distance from him. You watched Ardyn until the sun started to set, casting long shadows along the cliffs surrounding the beach as Ardyn strolled away from the spot you stood at only a few hours prior. You didn’t want him to go, but held hope that if the beach called to him like it called to you, then he would return.

 

The next few days you watched the beach, scanning for any sign of Ardyn, but he didn’t appear. 

 

You waited weeks.

 

But nobody came.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

100 Days

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You came to the conclusion that you were cursed by the Astrals. It seemed as if the dreams became more vivid and frequent after you abandoned hope of being with Ardyn’s reincarnation. And with the increased frequency of the dreams, was the slowed progress of the Starscourge. A prolonging of your inevitable fate.

 

After waiting to die for the past few months of your life, you’d grown sick of waiting for the end on the sunny beaches of Galdin Quay. For the last moments you had in your life, you wanted to do that which had bound you and Ardyn together. Without much thought, you’d packed all your belongings into a rented car and drove away from the sunny beach resort, ignoring the worried protests from the employees.

 

Honestly, even though your body still suffered from exhaustion, driving down the long stretches of road was the most free that you’ve felt in years. Making the occasional stop for gas and rest, you got to experience the entirety of Lucis for the first time since those days in your previous life. It wasn’t the same as riding on the back of a Chocobo, but you sincerely thought that your body couldn’t handle sitting on the feathered creature’s back for long in your condition. The first stop on your list was your place of birth in this life, and the place of your death in the previous. You would begin where you met and lost Ardyn.

 

Your memories of the great city from your current life was heavily foggy, muddled from the sudden intrusion of your past memories. In your mind, you remembered the city as energetic and lively, bustling with people at work and enjoying their lives. But your soul remembered the dirt roads, and wooden or stone shanties that provide shelter to the various farmers in the outer rim of the Lucis capital. You remembered the center of Insomnia, the public gathering around the circle in front of the palace. And you remembered the wooden platforms that the public had lynched you on before ending your life before your husband’s eyes.

 

Once inside the walls of Insomnia, you’d parked your rented vehicle in the public handicap parking and opted to roam the city in your wheelchair. It was irresponsible, exploring a large city without assistance, what with you being technically handicapped, but the lack of dependency allowed you to forget about your condition, choosing, instead, to embrace the joy of living.

 

For the longest while, you chose to forget about how your life had ended all those years ago. But upon returning to the city of your death, you were forced to acknowledge the tragedy of your life so many years ago. Sitting in a coffee shop located just a stone throw away from the Citadel, and therefore, where you’d died in your previous life, you winced, almost as if you could feel the whip and blades colliding with the skin of your back. Regis Lucis Caelum was a kind and caring king, and it seemed that his son took after his demeanor, but it startled you that two such individuals could have descended from such a sly and cruel man such as Izunia.

 

Izunia… you pondered, glaring into the dark liquid of your cup. That man had taken everything away from you. You were happy living with Ardyn in the middle of nowhere. Content to leave the accursed capital to live out your days. But to be killed over something so trivial... Even if the Crystal and the Six had taken Ardyn’s right to Ascendence away, it had been Ardyn’s forked tongue that had painted your husband as a monster. The grip you had on the ceramic cup tightened and your face twisted into a grimace.

 

Not even two hours later, you were on your way out of the city, ready to escape the dark thoughts and memories.

 

_ Izunia… I hope you’re rotting in the darkest pits of hell… _

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

97 Days 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A day later, you found yourself staying at a rest stop in Duscae, selling a few of your drawings for some easy money. Of course, you couldn’t bear to part with your drawings of Ardyn, instead opting to sell the sketches of Galdin Quay and of landscape from your past life. Due to your medical condition and the tension between kingdoms, you’d decided not to travel to Altissia. Besides, you’d had enough of Altissia to last you several lifetimes. The only place of significance remaining that you had to visit before allowing yourself to die in peace was your home. There was a pained smile on your face when you pulled out of the rest stop, the windshield wipers working overtime in the heavy rain. It had been a few thousand years since you’d been home, and you doubted that anything remained of the small wooden home, but neither that nor the dangers of Costlemark Tower deterred you from continuing on your way, parking the car on the side of the road to climb over the barrier, forced to continue on foot and in the rain.

 

The rain and wind pelted you from all sides as you proceeded forward, conscious of how fast the light was fading, and how your hair stuck to your face despite the hood of your raincoat blocking a majority of your head. Not even five minutes on your feet, and you were starting to feel the fatigue from the Scourge, sapping at your remaining energy, forcing you to frequently take breaks. Before long, the light had faded from the sky, and you were forced to proceed in the dark with only a flashlight to light your way as you walked past Costlemark, knowing that your home was only just beyond the rock formation that seemed to make up the back wall of the ancient tower.

 

As your exhaustion grew, you could feel the darkness within you rising, its black and purple tendrils slithering out of your core. And as you proceeded forward, weak arms reaching out to scale the rock face, you pondered if the Scourge was what kept the daemons away from you, knowing from your past life that the daemons and Scourge were host and parasite. It was a sign, perhaps, that you hadn’t long to live after all. This realization only spurred your movements, determined to at the very least die on the spot you’d called home once upon a time.

 

So despite the slick from the rock face, the rain water running down the edges to loosen your already slack grip, you held on with all your might and pulled yourself upwards, inch by inch.

 

No doubt your hands were cut up from the abuse, but you didn’t stop climbing until you reached the top.

 

You expected empty space, ruins, or even regrown forest. Anything but what you were actually greeted with.

 

On the spot where you and Ardyn had built a small wooden home, was the exact wooden home you’d left all those years ago with the exception of the reinforced steel decorating the structure, and the beds of flowers decorating the path around the house. Despite the storm raining down wind and water, the small home seemed to glow for you, as if welcoming you back. And despite the fact that the structure might belong to someone who wasn’t afraid of the daemon infested tower, you found that your feet carried you towards the slate tiled path towards the structure.

 

You wanted to cry, overwhelmed that your home from centuries ago was still standing, that it had been taken care of and loved. Standing at the front of the door, you stretched out a hand to grasp the doorknob, surprised to find that it was unlocked despite the keyhole. Your breath hitched when the wooden door swung open to reveal a room of darkness.

 

“E-Excuse me?” you called into the home, “The door was unlocked…” When nobody replied, you gulped and stuttered, “I’m entering…”

 

The light from your flashlight illuminated the darkness to reveal a modern country home, clean, but to your surprise, all the furniture was in the exact same place where you’d arranged. The floors, now covered in smooth wooden planks compared to the dirt floor of centuries past, shone with polish when your flashlight ran across.  _ Someone lives here… or someone regularly visits.  _ You thought to yourself as you shrugged off your raincoat and boots. To the side of the door, you found a coat and shoe rack, and only after leaving the soaked items in the proper place did you proceed into the home, which, to your surprise, was much larger than you remembered. You didn’t have much time to ponder upon the layout of the home, as you started to feel the effects of the Scourge tenfold, sapping you of all your remaining strength. You barely had time to find the bed before your body gave up and collapsed, sending your unconscious form crashing into the sheets.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

96 Days

~~~~~~~~~~

You awoke the next day at around noon, feeling extra crappy and on the verge of sickness due to falling asleep while most of your clothes were still wet. The storm had passed overnight, leaving the skies clear as you sluggishly pushed yourself away from the bed, feeling guilty for dampening the sheets with your wet clothing. Groaning due to the pressure on your face, you allowed your eyes to run across the room as you stood on unstable feet.

 

The room was mostly empty except for the occasional potted plant, but what caught your eye wasn’t the plants, but the bookshelf littered with cookbooks, leather journals, and one peculiar box. To any other, the box would simply look like an antique storage case, but to you… it was something more important. With bated breath and wide eyes, your hands stretched out to grasp the ornate box, dark wood etched with various swirling patterns, and a golden lock in the shape of a jagged crystal. Ardyn had gifted the box to you as one of his many surprise gifts during your brief time together, he’d fashioned the box with his own hands, earning many cuts and wounds to his hands in the process. You’d cherished the gift despite the simplistic design as it was a symbol of Ardyn’s love and devotion. Tears gathered at your eyes when you hesitantly unclasped the lock to find the inscription under the lid:

 

_ To my Light, my Love, my Heart. May we live happily in this life and the next. And may we find each other always. Forever yours, Your Beloved Husband, Ardyn Lucis Caelum. _

 

A sob escaped your lips as the tips of your fingers ran across the words, “Ardyn… I’m sorry. I can’t keep that promise.”

 

When you went to close the box, you eyes landed on the only item within the box. A bundle of papers, yellowed and brittle with age, bound in leather. Refusing to believe that it was what you thought it was, your hands trembled to set the box back down on the shelf in favor of picking up the leather bound papers. Untying the string, your shaking hands carefully opened up the flap of skin, and suddenly, you couldn’t hold in your sobs.

 

_ “You left, Ardyn. Again. Not even a day after you returned, you left again, brushing off my comments that we needed to speak. After all this time, I finally found the courage to speak to you, and you ignore me, running out the door to your new companions. Perhaps, in one of my previous entries, I’ve expressed how lonely it was in a home, alone, and in a different nation, but I’ll express it again. It has been lonely here, in this home, without you. Since the moment we arrived in Altissia, I’ve rarely seen you. You come and go, leaving me behind. And I know for a fact, that I’ve been replaced. _

 

_ I’ve been your friend for nearly three years, Ardyn. Three years, we have traveled together. Three years, we have been companions. But companions. That term. It’s a temporary thing, isn’t it? Companions are meant to be replaced. And I’ve been replaced. Not only as your companion, but as your friend. I’ve lost the place by your side. No. It’s foolish to think that I every even had that position, isn’t it? I’ve lost my use to you. Lost my purpose to stay at your side. You don’t need me anymore. And it hurts. _

 

_ Why would I think this? I find myself asking and answering that question far too often when you are gone. If I still help a place by your side, you would spend more than a day or a night at home before you leave again. And at first, I believed you were merely in a rush to save lives. But today, you left again. On the Eve of Amicus Amor. I had thought that we would spend the Lucian holiday with each other, as we did the years before. It was a holiday in which you found great importance, so I hoped that you wouldn’t forget. That you wouldn’t leave again. But you left, and I doubt that you would forget your favorite holiday. So, one assumes that you no longer hold the same regard towards me as I to you. _

 

_ And for the past month, I’ve been deliberating on leaving, Ardyn. That I should return to the place in which I am wanted. To a place where I am loved. _

 

_ It was foolish, I think, for me to have fallen in love with someone that I could never have. Yet, I hoped, that maybe, I could be worthy of you. Worthy to stand at your side as more than a companion or friend. I should have known that you could never love me. _

 

_ I’ve started preparations to leave within the next ten days. A long journey back to Insomnia no doubt. But I doubt you’ll be back before I leave. And I doubt that you’ll ever have to read these. _

 

_ Goodbye, Ardyn. I hope you live happily.” _

 

It was the last journal entry you wrote before deciding to leave Altissia. Before Ardyn had begged for you to stay. Before your marriage. Before moving into a home together. Before Izunia sentenced you both to die.

 

“Oh dear. Do we have a trespasser in our midst?” A sly and mockingly light voice sounded from behind you, making you freeze in place, hand coming up to silence your sobs in fear. “How rude… going through another man’s private possessions.” 

 

Despite the hand over your mouth, your shoulders continued to shake as you sobbed, eyes closing as tears slid down your cheeks. The tone of voice had immediately send your entire mind and body spiraling down into despair as both remembered who had spoken to you in such a way before.  _ Izunia. _

 

“Turn around,  _ my dear _ .” the person continued, “And do take care not to drop those pages. They are  _ very precious. _ I don’t know what I might do to you if you  _ damaged them. _ ”

 

Setting your old journal back into the ornate box, you slowly allowed yourself to turn, tears still sliding down your cheeks as you revealed yourself to the voices owner.

 

Immediately, your eyes locked with amber, and suddenly, your tears fell for a completely different reason. Try as you might, you couldn’t hold back the name that tumbled from your mouth, “Ardyn…”

 

Maybe his name wasn’t the same as your long deceased husband, but it was the same man you’d been watching on the beach during your stay at Galdin Quay. Now that you were facing him with only a few meters between you, you could see the wrinkle lines on his face, once again seemingly years older than you. His eyes were the same, that beautiful and striking amber. But looking closely, there lacked that bright twinkle in his eyes. Something that you had loved about him in your previous life. But by the Six, his  _ clothes _ . You bit your lip anxiously. His clothes were so similar in style to your husband’s. 

 

With all the thoughts running through your mind, your eyes hadn’t left the man’s form, you noticed the corners of his mouth pull into a sneer. “Oh?” The sound came out like a question, but was drawn out as he took several steps forward. Slow, leisurely, in the same manner as  _ that man. _ The lookalike slowed to a halt less than two feet from you, and suddenly you were forced to tilt your head up, calloused hand tilting your chin with a firm grip. “Do I know you? I’d think that I’d remember someone so…” his words trailed off as his amber eyes roamed over your form, “so… tragically pathetic.”

 

The words were like a blow to your chest.  _ Pathetic? _ Was that going to be the words that Ardyn’s reincarnation spoke to you upon meeting once again? Your heart ached, the gaping hole growing when those words left your husband’s lips. Simply having his face and name was enough to throw your heart into a dark pit.  _ Just like in Altissia, I’ll have to endure.  _ The awed expression on your face dropped completely, replaced instead, by a stone cold blank slate, light fading from your eyes as you leveled the man with a fierce glare. “ _ You  _ don’t get to say that I’m pathetic.”

 

The grip on your chin tightened when you tried to pull away. The sneer deepened as the man bent down menacingly, “But don’t I? After all, you’ve intruded upon my home. Violated my precious belongings. Slept on my bed. As someone who is homeless… without worth… I’d say that you are tragically pathetic, my dear.”

 

“This is  _ not  _ your home. And those letters are _ not _ yours.” You snarled back, latched your hand onto his arm and digging your nails into the exposed skin. You were playing with fire, challenging a man so different from your husband. But you didn’t expect to suddenly find yourself on the floor, cheek stinging from the sudden  _ backhand _ that the man had collided with your face. Sitting up, you brought a stunned hand up to caress your cheek, pulling away to find that you were  _ bleeding  _ from the impact.

 

“My dear, you should silence yourself while you’re still alive. Maybe then, I’ll grant you a quick and painless death.” the sudden sound of the Armiger activating sent you reeling back in shock as the familiar purple of your husband’s weapon was brought out. The edge touched the skin of your throat, pricking it and drawing a swell of sudden red liquid. “Might I have the name of this tragic soul?”

 

You breathed in and out heavily, eyes still trained on the blade.  _ It shouldn’t be possible. That’s Ardyn’s weapon. His power. How does he have it?  _ Your eyes shifted to peer into pitiless amber, searching for even an ounce of humanity to appeal to. When you found none, you smirked and closed your eyes, resigned. You were going to die young regardless, might as well die with your sanity intact. “It seems that we’ve both changed too much for it to matter.”

 

“Hmmm. A pity.” the blade pulled away from your throat for a moment, but you knew that it would descend to swiftly end your life.

 

In your mind’s eye, you pictured your husband reaching out to you with open arms. It was like that moment so many years ago, the blade descended with a hiss.

 

“For all of eternity. I’ll love you, Ardyn.”

 

There was silence for the longest moment, but no pain. With a frown, you cracked open an eye, only to see that the blade had stopped mere centimeters from your neck. Confused, both of your eyes opened and made their way to your executioner’s face. And for the first time since your meeting, you found an expression of horror on his face. “Y-Y/N…” the name, your name, escaped his lips in a fragile whisper, as if saying your name too loud might cause you to disappear.

 

You blinked impassively, “That is my name, yes. Though I didn’t give it to you.”

 

“My beloved.”

 

“Look, are you going to kill me or not?” You snapped impatiently, a bit peeved that you’d said your final words and revealed yourself.

 

“But you look so different.” Amber eyes roamed your face in disbelief, until he found what he was looking for. And when his did, Ardyn’s weapon dematerialized into beautiful purple shards. “Of course… reincarnations wouldn’t look exactly alike.” And suddenly, the man was knelt before you, gently gripping your chin. “How could I have not recognized those eyes?”

 

With a violent snarl, you ripped your face away from the man’s hold, shuffling to your feet. You didn’t understand what was going on, but you would be beyond stupid to let your husband’s lookalike touch you when he’d hurt you so easily. “Get away from me.”

 

A gentle smile appeared on the man’s face, “Now, Y/N. I thought you knew me? You remembered those letters and this home, after all.”

 

“You’re NOT my husband!” You denied vehemently, caught between bursting in tears and attacking. “My Ardyn would never have laid a hand on me!” Your hand rose to clutch at your cheek, still dripping blood. “Never!”

 

The man had the audacity to look ashamed and sorrowful, rising to his feet to reach out a hand towards you. “My darling, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t controlling my temper. I’d never intend to hurt you. Please, forgive me?”

 

“F-forgive you?” You let out a laugh in disbelief, “You would have killed me if I didn’t utter my parting words from two thousand years ago.” Shaking your head, you took another step backwards. “No. You’re not my husband.” Taking a few tentative steps forwards to judge the man’s reaction, you muttered wearily, “I’m leaving.” Ardyn made no move to stop you as you walked past him to put your boots and coat on. Now seemed like a good time to find a quiet place to live out your days.

 

You took one step outside the door when Ardyn’s voice met your ears again. “I thought we vowed to love each other. As we were. As we are. And as we will become.” The words were spoken with dejection and longing, “Are you going to abandon me, Y/N? Now that I’m no longer the same?”

 

“You hurt me.” It was the only reason you gave, but it was the one that made the man flinch. “I can’t trust someone who would willingly hurt me, even if the person has the same face as the man I married in another lifetime.”

 

“Then live with me for a few days, here, in the home we once called our own.” Ardyn turned around, eyes shining with a familiar desperation. “If you find that you can’t love me as you once did, then you can leave.”

 

“And if I can find myself loving you again?” you frowned, eyes narrowed into slits, “Then what?”

 

Ardyn leveled you with a confident smile, “Then we pick up where we left, and live out the rest of our days together.”

 

You frowned, tempted by the offer, but forced yourself to turn away from Ardyn, your heart aching. “No.” You weren’t sure that you could put yourself through that pain again. Years ago, you’d allowed yourself to fall in love with Ardyn because of your innocence and purity. But that fantasy of blissful happiness had long since been ripped from you two. The two of you have the possibility of being happy, but with the Scourge wreaking havoc on your body, you knew that that happiness would only be temporary, and before long, you’d be taken away from Ardyn again.

 

“Y/N!” There were hurried steps and suddenly you were stuck in a firm, yet warm embrace. “Don’t go… Please.” His voice broke as he pled, wrapping you in the same embrace as when he begged you to stay in Altissia.

 

“I can’t, Ardyn. What you want is impossible.” You resisted, twisting in his embrace to find escape.

 

“And why is it impossible? There is no Izunia to come for our heads, nothing to endanger our time together.”

 

“BECAUSE I’M DYING!” You screamed, thrashing in his embrace, which only tightened at your revelation.

 

Ardyn’s arms stealthily turned you to face him when you stopped struggling, pulling you into his chest in a comforting hug when you started to cry. “I know, Y/N. I can sense the Scourge within you.” Ardyn confessed in a hushed whisper next to your ear. His right hand raised dramatically to rest over your heart as he spoke, and your breathing stalled. Was it possible for him to still have the ability to take away the Scourge from your body? As if reading your thoughts, Ardyn clarified. “I can feel its corruption nestled deep in your heart, but I’ve long since lost the ability to take that pain away.”

 

A frown appeared on your face. “Long since lost? You mean because we both died? That you’re no longer a Lucis Caelum?”  _ Of course _ , you thought,  _ perhaps we are reincarnations of Y/N and Ardyn from two thousand years prior, but that doesn’t mean we’re the exact same. _ “If that’s so, then why are you able to use a power that only the King and his men can use? Do you work for King Regis? What is going on?”  _ Too many question. Too many mysteries. Was something meddling in your lives? _

 

A sly smirk appeared on Ardyn’s face as he brought his face down to nuzzle the side of your head affectionately. “If you can find that you hold the same love for me in three days, as you did two thousand long years ago, only then will I give you the answers you so desire.”

 

Your tears had long since stopped falling, and instead a scowl took its place at the sly smirk in front of you. In all honesty, despite the fact that Ardyn’s face was exactly the same as it had been years ago, you found yourself picturing Izunia’s face with that sly expression. Your fists tightened in hate, wanting to punch that smug grin off his face. You want so badly to say what you’re thinking.  _ Why the hell are you acting like Izunia? _ You want to ask it so badly that the tears gather at your eyes from the frustration. Because you knew that if you asked that, then Ardyn would either not answer your question, or lash out at you. Instead, you let out a tearful whisper, “Fine.” You blink the tears away and take a deep breath to calm yourself, leveling a stern glare at the man before you. “I’ll stay with you for three days. Nothing more. And if in those days you raise a hand to me or abuse me in any way.” In a show of seriousness, you pull away from his strong arms and extend your own to point out over the view of the forest, “Then I will leave, and you will never find me again.”

 

Try as you’d like, putting all your effort in being stern with your decision to leave should he ever harm you, you couldn’t stop the shudder and tremble of longing that crept up your body when Ardyn took an easy step to gather your face into his hands. Gently stroking your cheeks as he brought his head down to rest his forehead on yours, Ardyn allowed his amber eyes to close, shoulders relaxing as his chest seemed to give a rumbling purr. An aura of contentment rolled off the man in waves, nearly knocking you over from the demeanor whiplash. “You won’t regret your decision, Y/N. I’ve waited so long to hold you in my arms once again. So many years longing for your embrace.”

 

“Days and nights of your memory haunting my thoughts and dreams.” you whispered, closing your eyes as well, giving in to the contentment radiating from your soul as well as Ardyn’s. “I’m not sure if this is a blessing or a curse…”

 

“Let us not dwell on such thoughts, My Light.” Ardyn chided, his eyes opening to look into your eyes lovingly, “Whatever time we may have together, we’ll spend them to the fullest.” When you nodded, eyes closing once more to show your compliance, you suddenly felt strong arms lifting you up, bringing a blush of embarrassment and shock to your cheeks as you struggled to find support from your new position, “You must be tired, my dear, come, I’ll run a bath for you.”

 

“You have plumbing in the middle of the forest?”

 

“You’d be surprised at how much time I had to figure it out, My Light.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

95 Days and 4 hours

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You sat on the bed and hummed in contentment, watching as Ardyn finished washing the dinner dishes in the next room over.

 

True to his word, Ardyn had prepared a hot bath for you to soak in, though only after you insisted on showering first. And while you washed yourself of the dirt, Ardyn quietly disappeared to another room, letting you relax with the hot water. To your immense surprise, Ardyn had prepared and cooked dinner for you, carefully putting together an assortment of ingredients into a delicious stew to warm the two of you up from the harsh autumn winds. It was a near replication of the stew you’d prepared two thousand years ago, with the occasional change in herbs and vegetables. You found yourself pleasantly surprised at the abundance of flavor, consuming not one helping, but three, to fill your empty stomach.

 

Initially, you’d only decided to have one bowl, so as not to overindulge in the food. But one Ardyn took notice of your stealthily growling stomach, he’d filled your empty bowl back up with more stew. When you’d tried to politely refuse the second helping, Ardyn had tsked and insisted, saying, “It would hurt my feelings if you held your appetite back, my love.”

 

So you grudgingly at the next two bowls, nearly stuffing yourself to the brim under watchful amber eyes. During dinner, you’d engaged Ardyn in small conversation, inquiring about his skill in the culinary arts.

 

“I once had a loving wife, who cooked delicious meals for me.” Ardyn began, grinning widely, his face lighting up and taking off several years from his aged face. “Their name was Y/N, and they tried to teach me to cook when I failed to boil even an egg. I remember their cute pout when they saw how incapable I was. But one day, Y/N died.” The grin disappeared and the years came back, casting shadows and deep wrinkles into Ardyn’s face. “In Y/N’s memory, I attempted to recreate every dish that I remembered them making, pouring years of my life into perfecting the culinary arts so that one day… if I ever meet them again, I could hopefully impress Y/N with how much I’ve improved since we last met.”

 

His dedication brought tears to the corner of your eyes, a heavy throbbing pain settling in your chest. You were touched that Ardyn would dedicate a part of his life to your memory, but you blinked the tears away and willed the pain to go away. It was difficult, but you had to stop thinking about the events of the past. This was your time to make new memories with him. So you gathered your courage and shot a hesitant smile at Ardyn, delighting in the way seeing your smile brought a smile to his face again. “I’m happy that you wanted to remember me so much, Ardyn.” His lips parted to interrupt, but you spoke quickly, cutting him off, “But you didn’t have to learn how to cook just to impress me. If you were a poor man, my feelings for you would be the same.”

 

“But you wouldn’t love me if I were cruel and evil.” a wistful smile, but there was a gleam in his eyes, implying that this was more than an observation.

 

You cast your eyes to the empty bowl in front of you, ashamed. “I don’t know if I could, Ardyn.”

 

The atmosphere turned tense as Ardyn rose from his seat and took the empty bowls from the table to wash. There was no acknowledgment from Ardyn, even as you stared at his back, so you found yourself retreating into the bedroom, where you’ve been since, laying in the bed and staring up at the ceiling.

 

The sheets under you had been changed when you were in the bathroom, but the gesture had you thinking heavily. What did you hope would result from this? What did Ardyn hope would happen here? But you knew the answer to that. To both questions. 

 

_ It’s a hope that we might be what we were, and what we lost. _

 

While you were thinking, you didn’t notice the slight dip of the bed right next to your head. “When we were apart, it felt like a part of me was missing. Just an emptiness in my chest that throbbed right at the edges.” Ardyn spoke, his right hand coming up to grasp at his chest. “But now that I found you… I feel like we’re further apart than ever. It hurts more… like…”

 

“Like I can see you and touch you,” you demonstrated by taking his hand in yours as you sat up to look down at his hands, scarred and calloused as you remembered. “But there’s no closeness, no light. Not like the warmth we felt all those years ago.”

 

“Only darkness around us.” Ardyn chuckled cynically, running his thumb over your knuckles gently before his other hand lifted to caress your face. Once his amber eyes locked with yours, you found yourself leaning into his touch, craving his touch, his affection, his love. “Let us illuminate that darkness, Y/N. So that we may find eachother again.” Ardyn brought his face closer, leaning his forehead to yours in a gentle thump. “Please.” he whispered, mellifluous tone turning husky. “Let us learn to love once again.”

 

Releasing a shuddering sigh, you closed your eyes and nodded. “Yes. Let’s learn to love again.” When Ardyn proceeded to touch an intimate part of your anatomy, however, you promptly blushed and pulled away, “TOO FAST!”

 

Two strong hands caught you around the waist, halting your escape by pulling you back into firm arms. Ardyn laughed, burrowing his face into the crook of your neck, “I jest, Y/N.” You could feel the content smile on Ardyn’s face, simply pleased to hold you in his arms. “We’ll go at whatever pace is comfortable for you.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

92 Days

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Three days blew by too quickly for you when the situation was so cheerful and carefree. Each day, Ardyn came to relearn you. Of the disease that has plagued you for a good part of your life. Of your talent in drawing. Of the fact that you could barely go most days without the use of your wheelchair. Of the help that your memory of him had provided in keeping the Scourge at bay for so long. And you, in turn, learned that Ardyn had spent his time wishing to see you, hoping that the Six were not so cruel as to keep you away from him. You learned of Ardyn’s true feelings. Of his anguish in learning that that which he once took unto himself had gone and infected you, depriving him of your life once more.

 

You also learned that, no matter what he may have done upon first meeting you three days ago, that you still wished to stand by Ardyn’s side. The you now, and not the you from years past, loves the current Ardyn, more than you could logically comprehend. So on the morning of the fourth day, you woke up earlier than usual, in hopes of surprising Ardyn by kissing him awake. Only to find that Ardyn was awake before you, lying on his side on the bed, lazily staring at your face as he played with your hair.

 

Noticing that you’d woken, Ardyn’s eyes found yours with a lazy smile, but you knew that he needed your answer.

 

_ Will you stay? _

 

A smile slowly rose to your lips as you brought your face closer to Ardyn’s, his hair tickling your cheeks as you pressed a slow kiss to his lips. Humming in pleasure, Ardyn kissed back with a passion, licking your bottom lip and sucking, arms moving to wrap around your waist. In the morning sunlight, the two of you kissed leisurely, moving from shy kisses to bold, eventually getting to a point where hands started to roam.

 

_ Growl _

 

You wanted to ignore the noises coming from your stomach, continuing to kiss Ardyn, your hands having just finished exploring his bare chest, now rested at the edge of his lounge pants. Ardyn chuckled and pulled away from you with a last kiss, bringing a pout to your face, “Now now, Y/N. Patience. We’ll get to the fun soon enough, but only after you’ve been fed, my love.”

 

With a huff, you playfully shoved Ardyn off the bed, delighting in the yelp that left his mouth when his back collided with the hardwood. “Don’t speak as if I’m the only horny one here, Mister!” Leaning over the edge of the bed, you gave a triumphant smirk at the betrayed pout that Ardyn had on his face. “Oh come now, it doesn’t hurt that much. Besides…” you let a devious expression slip across your face as you licked your lips. “I like seeing you beneath me.”

 

Instantly, Ardyn’s lips were on yours again, having crawled to his knees to meet your lips. “Hmmm. We’re never going to eat at this rate, my dear.” he purred against your lips, tilting his head to make sure that you were always above him. “I never knew you preferred the top.”

 

“Mmmm… I like watching your expressions.” you confessed, lifting both hands to bring Ardyn’s lips to yours, biting his bottom lip gently before moving to his left ear and whispering, “I also like it when you whispered in my ear.” The shiver of pleasure and excitement from Ardyn further encouraged you to speak of your past dirty thoughts. “I’m weak for your voice. If you whisper in my ear, it gets me aching. When you moan in my ear… It drives me over the edge.”

 

And then, you’re under him, feeling his mouth feast upon the skin covering the crook of your neck before he pulls away to stare lustfully into your eyes. “Let’s see how many times I can bring this body to the edge, Y/N.”

 

“Last time you brought me to the edge five times.” You pant, breathless and aching for more of Ardyn’s touch, “Let’s see if we can make it seven times.” It was a clear challenge towards your lover, your intent made clear by your half lidded eyes meeting his own amber. “Make love to me. Make me crave your every movement. Make it so that I can only say your name. So that I forget my own.”

 

The almost evil smirk on Ardyn’s face gave you a clear answer as he sensually began to kiss you, hands roaming and disrobing you as you were distracted. You let out a heady moan as Ardyn leisurely kissed down your chest, spending some time at your nipples, pinching one as he lavished the other with attention, his warm mouth closing around the hardening form of one and sucking. Simply from his minor attentions, you found yourself beyond wet, your core aching and pulsing in anticipation. Ardyn only moved on from his ministrations when he’d removed your underwear, throwing your last article of clothes across the room as he descended, his mouth finding your sex and sucking, lusty amber eyes staring directly into your eyes as he worked.

 

He would do everything you asked him and more. He won’t make love to you. He’ll worship your body, your love, your soul. His touch won’t just make you crave him. You’ll be ravenous, only content when you’re with him. He promises that you won’t be saying his name. Ardyn will have you screaming his name. And you won’t forget your name. You’ll remember that Y/N and Ardyn are synonymous with one another. One is not without the other.

 

And you knew this, the entire time. As his hand played with you, bring you over the edge three times before he’d bothered to disrobe himself, working himself with your fluids before allowing the two of you to be one in body and soul for the first time in two thousand years. In the light of the late morning sun, Ardyn took you, making you come three more times before flipping positions, allowing you to be on top, riding him to completion for the seventh time that day.

 

Coming down from the high, Ardyn pulled your body towards his own, wrapping the both of your sweaty bodies with the covers. “I keep my word, Y/N. We belong to each other. For all eternity.”

 

“I love you, Ardyn.”

 

“I love you as well, Y/N.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~

30 Days

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

It’s been a month since you’d accepted that you’d spend the rest of your natural life with Ardyn. A little more than a month of love making and sweet gestures. It seemed as if the two of you had simply continued from where your lives had left off two thousand years ago. But the happiness and contentment seemed to be almost firmly held in place by Ardyn. You’d yet to gain any of the answers you wanted and were promised. Any attempt you made to get your answers, Ardyn would expertly dodge the question by teasing you or doing something sweet.

 

It made Ardyn seem like he was hiding something from you. This became shockingly apparent when you noticed that Ardyn disappeared at night when he thought you asleep. And given that you slept for more than ten hours due to the fatigue that the Scourge caused, you didn’t notice his absence until you’d woken up from a nightmare a few nights prior to find his side of the bed empty. Since then, you’d made attempts to wake up in the middle of the night in order to prove to yourself that perhaps it was a one time thing. That Ardyn really wasn’t disappearing at night to go somewhere. And when Ardyn continued to leave every night since, you started to feel the insecurity creep up within you. A dark gnawing monster that liked to manifest itself briefly as the dark tendrils of Scourge.

 

**_Poor poor child. You think that he’d still love you after all these years? Surely a new life for you meant a new life for him as well. You’re not the only important thing in his life._ **

 

_ If he doesn’t love me, then why would he have preserved this place, or made it better? Liveable, even. I am important to him. _

 

**_How important are you? That he keeps you locked up in this small shed in the forest?_ **

 

_ It’s to protect me. _

 

**_Or… it’s to keep you hidden. As if he’s ashamed of you. Or he leaves at night to visit another. A lover, perhaps. A wife. Children. Family. A life away from you._ **

 

In the darkness of the woodland home, you sat in silence on the floor, leaning against the wall. The fire in the fireplace had long since died, the only remains being the slightly burning embers within. The bed was cold, Ardyn’s side long since cooled hours prior, and your own losing its warmth. You took a deep breath and exhaled, not bothering to argue with the dark thoughts any more. You’d known long ago that the Scourge had won the battle over your body. Nowadays, you felt like you could barely stand, much less sleep for less than 12 hours at a time. You barely had feeling in your body. Sex didn’t feel the same as it did months prior, and even now, when the temperature was so low that you could see your breath, you couldn’t feel the cold creeping into your bones.

 

You only felt happiness when Ardyn was near, what with him being your light. But it seemed as if that was about to leave as well.

 

Outside, the snow fell heavily, the wind howling as it shook the house. It was during times like this that you felt at your lowest. Alone, at night, with the Scourge bringing dark thoughts to your mind’s eye. To stop yourself from doing anything foolish, you’d taken to the floor, staring blankly at your journal, just trying to muster as much positive thought as much as positive. You would do this until your eyes were tired enough to sleep, crawling into bed and closing your eyes. When you next open your eyes, it was morning, and Ardyn was staring right back at you.

 

Unlike the past few mornings, however, you didn’t fake a smile and kiss Ardyn on the lips. Instead, your eyes remained hollow as you asked, “Where do you go at night, Ardyn?” His amber eyes widened considerably at your question, probably surprised that you even noticed his absence at night. “Do you not want to be with me, Ardyn? If you have another life… I think you should be honest with me.”

 

“You’re not making much sense, darling. I love you. My absence at night has nothing to do with my love for you.” Ardyn denied, visibly horrified and offended that you would even call his love into question.

 

“And yet there are so many things you hide, Ardyn.” You snapped, turning away from your lover with a decisive turn. “Can’t you answer my questions?”  _ I don’t have long. _ You left it unspoken.

 

“The truth will only hurt you, Y/N.” Ardyn attempted to argue, though his voice sounded too weak, knowing that you will get what you want.

 

“I’m hurting anyways, Ardyn.” you countered easily, hating that your voice sounded so hollow, so dead.

 

“I was never reincarnated.” You turned back to face Ardyn immediately, intrigued and confused as he continued, eyes meeting yours sheepishly. “I can’t die, Y/N. Taking the Scourge unto my being has made me immortal. I can die over and over again, but my form will always come back.”

 

A vague spark of emotion streaked across your face as you sat up, hands taking Ardyn’s face, “You’re the same Ardyn… from two thousand years ago?” At Ardyn’s nod, you bit your lip in hesitation before asking, “Can I… can I see your other form?” The words were barely out of your mouth before you were face to face with Ardyn’s demonized form, the Scourge within him calling to the Scourge plaguing your body. “Where do you go at night, Ardyn?”

 

“To work on ending this eternal suffering.” your face scrunched up at how vague, yet specific Ardyn’s answer was. You wanted specifics, details of the plan, to make sure that Ardyn wasn’t doing anything foolish, but Ardyn interrupted you before you could ask for more details. “I can’t Ascend, Y/N. I can’t find peace. You can’t imagine what horrors I’ve endured when we were both sentenced to die. When I woke up to find you dead by my side.” Shaking hands rose to take your face, “Of how many times I’ve tried to end my own life hoping to reunite with you. To find brief respite in the cold grasps of death, only to come back to this waking hell.” His eyes close, body shaking in a brief show of weakness. “Even now, just holding you is like a dream. A cruel dream that I know will be ripped away from me. So please, Y/N. Don’t ask questions. Let me end this suffering. So that we can be together at last, in the afterlife.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

So you didn’t ask anymore questions. Instead, with whatever will you had left, you cherished the moments you had left with Ardyn. Sharing smiles and laughs. The small and innocent things that would soon be ripped from your lives by fate. Until the day you were unable to wake from your dreams, body slowly showing signs of dissolving in Ardyn’s arms. He’d known that you weren’t going to live past the winter, but Ardyn still couldn’t stop the tears, or the sobs that plagued his body as he held you in his arms. Ardyn knew the signs. The moment the body started to seep the small particles of Scourge, you had no more than a day to stay in your physical form before you soul was taken and turned into a daemon.

 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Wait for me.” Ardyn cried, bring his hand to your chest in a motion to stab, “I’m sorry it had to come to this.” With a quick summon of his weapon, Ardyn impaled you with his glaive, ending your life before you could turn into a daemon. Losing you this time was no less painful than it was the first time, Ardyn lamented as he cradled your body, watching as it dissolved into light. But this time, Ardyn knew that you would wait for him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

12 Years later

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

You hummed a cheerful tune as you tended to the many flowers in the garden, unconcerned that all around you was empty except for the blue sky and familiar home behind you. When you’d woken up, you’d found yourself lying in the flower garden, as if placed there gently by some unknown force. At first, you’d called for Ardyn. Worried for your beloved, and scared at the sudden warmth and peace. You’d hollered at the top of your lungs for Ardyn, finding that your voice never wavered, that after hours of yelling, your voice had yet to turn raw. That after hours of yelling, the sky didn’t change color. That you felt no fatigue at all. No hunger.

 

It was after these observations that you’d realized that you’d died. That you were dead. 

 

You wept for hours, or was it days, in the fields outside the wooden structure before a woman in all white appeared before you, her blonde hair let down to gently frame her face. You didn’t even notice that the younger woman was in front of you, too busy crying into your hands, until she spoke in a wise but gentle voice. “Y/N. Don’t weep. You’ll be with Ardyn again. Simply have patience and keep hope in your heart that he will return to you.”

 

“How do you know that?” You demanded, hiccuping as tears continued to fall from your eyes.

 

The woman smiled gently, kneeling down in front of you, bringing her hand to your face, thumbs gingerly brushing the tears away. “I know because I, too, wait to return to my beloved’s side.”

 

Still tearful, but making an effort to stop the tears, you whimpered, closing your eyes and holding onto the woman’s hands. “What’s your name?”

 

A patient smile. “Luna.”

 

“Could you stay with me, Luna?” a sheepish request, “Until you have to go meet your beloved.”

 

The smile didn’t leave Luna’s face as she took a seat next to you in the garden. “I’ll wait with you.”

 

You learned that Luna was the Oracle, deceased from her efforts to aid King Noctis rid the world of the Starscourge. You learned of the tragedy that was her life. Of how she endured the hardship in the hopes of living a happy life with Noctis. And you wished, that in death, that Luna would finally find peace. You didn’t have to explain who you were, it was evident that Luna knew who you were, but you didn’t think she cared. In the afterlife, the both of you found solidarity in the hope that you would both be reunited with the men that held your hearts.

 

As you hummed, playing with the sylleblossoms that started to grow in the gardens, you didn’t notice the river that seemed to form a few feet away.

 

Luna had left moments prior to reunite with her beloved. The two of you weren’t tearful when you had to part, however. Just happy for each other. Both of you knew that with Noctis’s arrival, Ardyn would be following closely. Your wishes would come true.

 

A gust of wind directed your attention to the sudden appearance of the river, and watched, mesmerized, as the river formed, and after it, the fields on the other side seemed to change into a forest. With bated breath, you watched a tall form exit the forest, making his way towards the river. Recognizing the man, you ran towards the river, only to be stopped by an invisible wall. Frowning, you placed your palm on the wall, staring at Ardyn as he sauntered towards the river, as if he didn’t see you.

 

He walked until he too stood on the bank of the river directly opposite of you, stopping when he seemed to bump into a wall. You saw him frown before reaching up to touch the invisible wall as well. The river seemed to speed up, splashing a torrent of water against the banks, blinding both you and Ardyn as you both brought you hands up to cover your faces.

 

When the splashing died down and you both lowered your arms, the river was gone, and your eyes locked. With giddy smiles, the two ran at each other, pulling each other’s forms into an embrace. You were together finally. No death looming over the two of you. No one getting in your way. Just your love for eachother.

 

Eternal.


End file.
